"No one is polite anymore, manners are old-fashioned!" I've heard that a lot, especially when my children were younger, and especially when the topic was a thank-you letter, or table manners. Although I vigorously defended manners, I guess I secretly hoped that they were out of style. I hate writing letters of any kind, and eating with your elbows on the table is much more comfortable. And etiquette, the word is even hard to spell! BUT..... Every so often, someone will ask a question which can only be answered by Emily Post or someone like her.

The issues today are different. Maybe you've had to consider some of them. How do you address a letter to a married couple when the wife has kept her own name? Is it all right to send an email as an invitation or to express sympathy? The same child who had table manner issues wanted to know why we couldn't invite people to her wedding with an email. Is it proper to carry on a cellphone conversation in a crowded place? Should you take young children out to dinner with you anywhere but at a fast food restaurant? How do you manage a workplace relationship, and is that even acceptable? What about those personal questions? People today ask about things that are clearly none of their business, but that doesn't slow them down at all. Is it rude to be rude to someone asking rude questions?

If all of this is too much to consider on your own, the library has books on etiquette, ???etiquette!!! which should help. Among them:

Letitia Baldrige's new manners for new times
21st -century etiquette
Miss Manners' guide to excruciatingly correct behavior
Star-spangled manners

There are also specialized etiquette books to cover specific situations and specific individuals.

Essential manners for couples
The no asshole rule : building a civilized workplace
Essential manners for men

The library also has a series of books which can be used to introduce everyday manners to young children, concentrating on appropriate behaviors in situations like the playground, the classroom, and the library.
Manners series by Terri DeGezelle

The point of all of these books seems to be that having manners today makes you the kind of person that others want to be around. Good manners means being nice to everyone, including annoying strangers, even when you don't feel like it. Sounds like we have a lot of work ahead of us!