A lot of times finding a topic for my blog is a real struggle and I have to count on someone doing something wonderful or, sad to say, someone dying. Other times I'm forced to rely on Chase's calendar of events for something to write about. Once in a while, a blog topic comes up and hits me in the head, like now. I've been very busy focused on helping to plan my daughter's wedding. Now I suddenly find myself being pulled like a tug-of-war rope, only in several directions. My widowed mother, who is soon to be eighty-two, and my two closest aunts, eighty-five and eighty-six, would like more of my attention and, how did this happen, my father-in-law is soon to be ninety. He lives six hours away.

I'm very fortunate because they are all in good health physically, but I begin to see a time when that might not be so. My father-in-law just realized that he is now more than ten years older than his father was when he could no longer be trusted to drive. My mother lives in an area where she must drive to everything. All of these worries, which were always too far removed to think about, are now very immediate. My father-in-law is in better shape, because although my husband is the only son, he does have three sisters, all in the immediate area. My only sibling is male, and at least three hours away.

I decided to do some research so that, although I certainly wouldn't be prepared, at least I wouldn't be completely lost. I felt that I needed to do some reading, so I started with the collection at NPL. One of the first books that I found was the best. How to say it to seniors helped me to understand why sometimes the most innocuous sounding statement can be the wrong thing to say. More than that, it gave me some insight into that silly-sounding but so hard to answer question, "what are they thinking?". The rest of these books are on my reading list for the summer.

Is your parent in good hands? : protecting your aging parent from financial abuse and neglect
Taking care of Mom & Dad : The money, politics and emotions that come with supporting your parents
Caring for yourself while caring for your aging parents : How to help, how to survive
Are your parents driving you crazy? : how to resolve the most common dilemmas with aging parents
Changing places: a journey with my parents into their old age
Elder care made easier : Dr. Marion's 10 steps to help you care for an aging loved one

If you need more immediate help, the U S Department of Health and Human Services has a webpage called eldercare locator which will help with connections to services for the elderly within your community. Through two of the tabs at the top of the webpage labeled The Aging Network and Resources, you can connect to a wealth of helpful information including the website for the American Administration on Aging. The Resources tab will enable you to access links to websites providing information on aging organizations, elder rights, and general health resources among other things.